1. Gratitude Practice

You can’t think about two things at the same time (or you can’t do it well at least). Shifting your focus to the positive will inadvertently shift your focus away from the negative. Over time, the brain will get better at doing this on it’s own.

Practice: At the end of each day, write down 5 things you're grateful for. Can be something that happened (or didn’t happen), a person, a thing, literally anything that brought you joy. A little hack I use when this is difficult for clients is to practice “negative visualization.” 

2. Mindfulness & Meditation

Mindfulness teaches you to step back and observe your thoughts instead of judging them. Meditation takes it one step further by help you gain control over your thoughts. It’s like a workout to strengthen your brain.

Practice: There are so many ways to practice mindfulness, including meditation, breath work, guided imagery, mindful eating, mindful walking, and more. For meditation, I really love the app Insight Timer. If you’re new, I recommend starting with guided meditations (check out Tara Brach).

3. Self-Compassion

We often use self-criticism because we think it’ll help us get out of the situation we’re in, like it’s somehow motivating—but research shows it actually does the opposite. Would you speak to someone you love (or a stranger in distress) the way you speak to yourself?

Practice: The next time you find yourself with negative thoughts or saying negative things about yourself, imagine someone you love right in front of you (you can also use a picture of your younger self). How would you speak to someone you love who is experiencing what you are?

4. Cognitive Restructuring

Practice pushing back on that inner critic. Instead of letting them run wild, call them out. 

Practice: Before challenging a negative thought, you have to first be aware of it. Start by simply noticing when these thoughts come up. Then, practice these steps:

• Challenge the thought: Is this thought based on facts or feelings? Past or present?

• Reframe the thought: Replace the negative thought with a more neutral or positive one. For example, change “This is so hard. I’m so dumb!” to “This is challenging because it’s still new. I just need to keep trying.”

5. Journaling

As a child, I couldn’t keep a diary to save my life. As an adult, journaling has become one of my favorite things to do. The mind process things differently when you put pen to paper which is why writing is so prevalent in my coaching practice and in my life.

Practice: The next time you’re having negative thoughts or going through a negative experience, write it down, in full detail. Don’t limit yourself, don’t filter, don’t edit. No one is going to read this. And just see how you feel after. You can even write about how you’re feeling. That’s literally all I want you to do. You’ll feel differently after, I just know it.

6. Somatic Soothing

When you see someone you love hurting, what is the first thing you want to do? Hug them? When you celebrate a team win, you high five. When you bump your knee, your hand immediately goes to cradle it. Self-soothing through touch is something we don’t think about doing often, but can be very healing.

Practice: Some tender soothing options could look like: one or two hands over your heart, cradling your face in your hands, gently stroking your arms, kissing your shoulder, giving yourself a hug, gently rocking back and forth, holding your own hand. Take a moment to acknowledge and sit with the loving gesture.

7. Asking for Help

Sometimes, the most loving thing we can do for ourselves is to ask for help. Working with a professional who can offer strategies and hold space to help you understand and control your thought patterns.

Practice: Consult a professional for help.