The Negative Things You Say About Yourself Hurts Those Around You Too
So I get it. It’s hard to quit the stream of negative self-talk (and quite honestly, verbal abuse) because in the moment we don’t care about ourselves. We don’t believe we’re worthy of empathy or kindness. We’re frustrated, angry, ashamed with ourselves.
So, what if instead, you stopped for someone else?
What if I told you that YOUR negative self-talk (let’s actually call it verbal abuse, I think it’s fitting) around others makes THEM focus on things THEY maybe didn’t see before on THEMSELVES. The things you’re saying about yourself, you’re honestly kind of saying about them too < unpopular truth bomb right there for you.
Let’s put that into context:
The extra 5 lbs you gained that you can’t stop talking about. The words you use to describe yourself in that moment: lazy, fat, gross, unmotivated, undisciplined, etc. Well, your friend went home and weighed herself and it turns out she gained 10 lbs. Now because YOU decided to label yourself as those things because you gained 5 lbs, you can imagine what she’s thinking about herself now.
The lower part of your belly you keep pinching and critiquing. Yeah that cute little bump you have because, well, nature. You pinch and show frusteration that you have it. You talk about how skinny you’d look if it just went away. How nothing looks good because it sticks out. How ___ has a great stomach because she doesn’t have it. Your friend, unbeknownst to her at the time, looks down and notices she has it too. She thought it was just a part of her body and that it was natural (which it is by the way), but now she feels all of those things too, even worse, she thinks you probably think the same way about her - and why wouldn’t she, what makes her different than you?
The food you always comment and say is “bad” and that you “shouldn’t be eating.” The moral value you give certain meals and snacks. The idea that a food can be “good” and “bad” and that you “shouldn’t be eating” something because it’ll cause you to gain weight? How do you think that makes the person that is offering you that food feel? Like they’re bad. That you think you’re better than them.
When you pick out things about yourself that you don’t like, the people around you assume you think the same of them if they have/don’t have that thing. Argue that point as much as you want, that’s how it comes across.
Your negative self-talk impacts the people around you. Read that again.
If you’re reading this and you’re like, “Oh god, I do that.”
There’s a simple way to do better by you and the people that you love: Treat yourself like you would treat a loved one.
Respect yourself.
Be kind to yourself.
Show yourself empathy.
Care for yourself.
By doing that, in front of others, you’ll show people that they can do the same for themselves. You’ll tell people that they are worthy of being loved and respected no matter how they feel about themselves in the moment. Hopefully you’ll be able to change the conversation in their head.
You’ll show them that people are worth loving, no matter what they look like.
YOU are worth loving, no matter what you look like.
If you’re looking for a safe space where you can learn how to let go of dieting for good, enjoy food without guilt, and turn exercise into something you love to do rather than something you “have” to do, submit a client application to get in contact with me! I work with clients virtually all over the world helping those who are frustrated with dieting and want to change their relationship with food and themselves.
Hi, I’m Azul Corajoria, an Integrative Health Coach, Personal Trainer & Yoga Instructor. I support my clients in making step-by-step changes so that they can live a healthy and balanced life. By recognizing the interdependent roles of mindset, nutrition, and movement I educate and hold my clients accountable for achieving their health goals through lifestyle and behavior adjustments with an emphasis on self-care. Together, we navigate the contradictory world of nutrition through intuitive eating, practice mindful movement, and implement small mindset and lifestyle shifts that empower them to be their best selves in the easiest way possible.
