Hate Photos Of Yourself? Do This.

Think of all the beautiful sunsets you’ve ever seen in your life, and when you go to take a picture of it you think, “This photo really doesn’t do this sunset justice.” YOU are the sunset.

We've all been there.

Whether you were on vacation.

Getting ready to go out with friends.

Spotted your favorite celeb on the street.

Enjoying a swim with your nephew.

Partner took a candid of you.

We've all seen a photo of ourselves and thought… “Oh, what the ACTUAL fuck.”

I'll let you in on a little secret, you're not alone, you're actually FAR from alone.

I've met size 0 models (who's literal job it is to be photographed) that absolutely hate photos taken of them, soo… Yeah, happens to everyone.

Especially if you feel like you've been putting in all this hard work:

✔️ You're working out consistently.

✔️ You're eating more balanced meals.

✔️ You've been working on your positive self-talk.

You actually feel pretty damn good about yourself.

Until said photo is seen.

Cue TRIGGER.

Cue spiral.

Cue black hole of despair.

Cue shame and blame.

Cue what even is the point in all this.

Cue who would ever.

Cue ew, delete immediately.

Cue I'm never taking another photo again.

Cue life is over.

Sound familiar?

It does to me, because that was my exact chain of events.

I remember in college, before going out we would all take group photos, and oh man. If I saw a photo I didn't like, I went from feeling sassy and confident to wearing a black hoodie and calling my night a wash - bye friends have fun, no point in me going out tonight.

The amount of memories I've deleted… Sigh.

All this to say, do I still get triggered by photos of myself I hate?

Yes (lol) BUT not anything like before.

We're all about honesty over here.

What changed? What helped?

1) Understanding the Reality of Photos

• Cameras distort reality: Certain angles and lenses distort reality and exaggerate proportions. You want to make your legs look longer? Waist smaller? Butt bigger? You can do that with a slight change of angle. Cameras take 3D things and flatten them to 2D images which distort our perception of things.

• Lighting makes a huge difference: Want to get rid of your cellulite? Look 10 years younger? It all comes down to lighting. Lighting can emphasize things you'd literally never notice otherwise. It's actually nuts.

• The “perfect” shot takes effort: The reality is, behind almost every shot you see online, there were dozens, if not hundreds taken before. A “good” candid or even posed shot is almost never a one and done deal. Also… Editing. I'll leave it there.

2) Shifting the Focus

Even more importantly than understanding HOW a “good” photo is taken, is remembering WHY we take photos at all. We've lost the beautiful meaning behind photos. Photos are meant to capture a moment in time, but the pressure to look perfect has made us lose sight of what matters. Here are a few thought starters for you to consider when your first instinct is to look at a photo and ask, “Do I look good?"

• “Does this capture the memory I want to hold onto?”

• "What emotions or memories does this photo bring back?”

• “What does this photo say about the life I’m living?”

• “What do I love about this stage of my life?"

I saw this post on IG of this woman who's sister had died recently, and she was talking about how happy she was that she had so many photos with them to remember the good times they shared.

“Take the damn photo. Get in the video. Laugh freely. You are worthy of being seen, just as you are.”

3) Get Comfortable In Front of the Camera

This one might surprise you given I just told you not to care. BUT I get it, not caring is HARD, and we all DO want “good” photos of ourselves. I want that for you too. I like to think of it as creative self-exploration.

• Get to Know Your Favs: Ever take a photo with someone that says, “Wait can I be on that side?” They know their side. Taylor Swift? She knows her angle. That influencer who's always doing that weird crouching contortion with her arm in that weird position? She definitely knows her pose. Know what you love and highlight it.

• Learn: There are a lot of cool posing coaches on IG now (yes, that's a thing, it's very cool). One of my favorites is David Suh. Find him on IG and YouTube!

• Hire: I have a friend who hired a boudoir photographer for her birthday and she did a whole sexy photoshoot literally just for herself. Now, she's not someone that usually takes photos, but she said it was one of the most empowering things she's ever done. So rad. When I get photos of myself done for my business, I never regret it. If you've never worked with a professional photographer, it could be a really nice gift for yourself. Whether it's just for yourself or your business, or whatever. Hire someone you trust and that can guide you!

• Have Fun: Back in the day I used to do little mini photoshoots. I'd do my makeup and my hair and take hundreds of photos and then have fun editing them. Did they help my self-esteem momentarily? Absolutely. Did they cure my lack of confidence and self-love? Unfortunately not. Regardless, they were fun and felt like a creative outlet for me. The most important part is to explore and have fun with this.

I hope you found this helpful.

I also hope you remember that a photo could never capture you fully.

Your essence.

Your vibe.

Your energy.

Your love.

Your grace.

Your strength.

Your personality.

Your gifts.

Your warmth.

Your depth.

Your heart.

Your mind.

All the things we love most about you.