You're going to fail. Here's what to do about it.

“Grace means that your mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving shame.” - Brene Brown

We've all been there…

Maybe it's an extra serving of dessert you didn't originally intend on having.

Maybe it's a workout you skipped because you didn't feel like getting out of bed.

In our journey toward better health and wellness, we'll trip, we'll stumble, we'll eat shit.

That is normal. It's actually PART OF THE PROCESS.

It's inevitable that you will face setbacks and obstacles. But HOW you percieve these mistakes will make all the difference and will determine if you ultimately achieve your goal or if you stop before you even gave yourself a fighting chance.

Grace is the key to transforming slip-ups into stepping stones.

p.s. I'm going to quote two of my freaking FAVORITE people today.

“Guilt, shame and self-criticism are some of the most destructive forces in your life, which is why forgiving yourself is one of the most powerful.” - Jen Sincero

Here's the thing about shame: Shame shuts down your ability to learn.

It makes your mistake, your identity.

Instead of, “I'm sorry, I made a mistake.” Shame says, “I'm sorry, I am a mistake.”

Where we can start to shift this is through self-compassion.

Giving ourselves the space to get curious and learn, rather than embody (our mistakes).

You're not releasing responsibility, or pretending like it never happened. It did.

You can take ownership over something you did, and not make it about who you are.

We’re all SO hard on ourselves that the minute we slip up we use it as “proof” that we can’t do what we set out to.

“See, I knew I'd eventually stop making it to those workout classes. This always happens.”

“See, I knew I couldn't trust myself around cookies. I have no self-control.”

Shame can be paralyzing in that way.

It convinces us that we're not good enough so why even freaking bother.

Grace and self-compassion on the other hand, foster resilience. They reminds us that everyone makes mistakes (we're freaking human) and that each mistake actually brings us closer to our goals. Instead of giving up, we find the strength to keep moving forward. 

With my 1:1 coaching clients, we're always anticipating obstacles/setbacks. The more you get used to doing this, the better prepared you will be when they inevitably come.

How to turn your missteps into meaningful milestones.

1) Reflect + Learn: After a setback, take a moment to reflect. Instead of jumping into criticism (literally never helpful), approach with curiosity. What triggered the behavior? What can you do differently next time?

2) Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend. Shaming yourself will get you nowhere (I actually take that back, it'll get you deeper into a dark black hole making it harder to come out of). How would you approach a loved one going through something simliar? How would someone you love or respect coach you through it? I often pretend Brene or Jen (my besties) are with me coaching me through my troubles. Create your little tribe that you carry around in your head for difficult times.

3) Adjust + Adapt: Here's the best part - You can never go back to not knowing. So you're literally always better off after a mistake. Use the insights gained to adjust your approach. Try something new. Flexibility allows you to adapt and find what works best for YOU.

So, the next time you stumble, remember… It's not about perfection, it's about progress.

And every step, even the ones that seem like mistakes, are a step forward.