This “Self-love” Thing Isn't Working.

"Self-Love isn’t a thing you arrive to, it’s a practice."

I used to think self-love was something that I could achieve.

The proverbial, “When I do ___, I’ll finally be/feel __.”

I would have these moments of pure bliss and happiness and feeling so at peace in my body and within my mind. A few days later… a negative thought, a dip in spirit, a moment of doubt and I would spiral.

IT’S NOT WORKINGG.

I STILL don’t love myself 🤬

After all that work I still have these thoughts!

All the affirmations.

All the gratitude journaling.

All the inner child work.

All the meditating.

All the positive self-talk.

WTF is wrong with ME?

It wasn’t until I realized that, like love itself,

self-love isn’t a thing you arrive to, it’s a practice.

It isn’t a milestone, a goal or a box to check off our personal growth bucket list.

Doubts, insecurities and negative self-talk doesn’t just *poof* disappear one day (ugh, wouldn’t that be nice though).

It’s a practice, a way of being that you nurture daily.

Much like exercise, eating well, meditating, personal hygiene, etc., are daily practices.

You don’t just fall in love with your partner one day and then never have any bad thoughts or never think they’re the biggest pain in the butt ever again.

Some days, they’re easier to love.

Some days, they’re harder to love.

Love, is a feeling, but it’s also a choice, a practice.

Some days are easier than others, but you always try your best to show up with love.

Practicing self-love is practicing showing up for yourself, regardless of how you feel about yourself that day.

So the next time you feel like you’re doing this whole “self-love” thing wrong, remember…

Self-love isn’t about reaching a state of perfection.

It’s about embracing yourself as you are, all your messy, all your shadows, all your doubts, and committing to the practice of showing yourself love regardless of how you “feel” about yourself in that moment.

You don’t have to be IN love with yourself all the time, but you should love yourself all the time. Yah get it?

The goal isn’t to arrive somewhere but to keep showing up for yourself, day after day, with love and compassion.