The Greatest Boundary to Set For Your Mental Health.
"One of the greatest boundaries you'll ever have to set, is with the part of you that often tries to convince you that you are either not enough or unworthy of your light.”
🥲 I mean…
We've all been there.
In that space within our mind with that voice that convinces us we can't, we won't, we're not.
And just like you set boundaries (hopefully) at work, or with certain people in your life, I want you to think about setting boundaries with the part of you that doubts your worth and your potential to make room for growth and opportunity.
By creating this boundary, by recognizing, challenging, and reframing this inner critic, you can begin to see that YOU ARE, in fact, deserving of all the good things that you desire, and that YOU ARE capable of making the changes necessary to get those things.
I'll share with you one of the ways I coach my clients through the negative self-talk and limiting beliefs that are holding them back from reaching their potential.
1) Recognize: The first step is recognizing you're even doing this to begin with. Negative thoughts are so automatic we don't even realize when they're occurring - especially if you adopted this voice as a child and don't know any different.
Write a one page brain dump. Take a moment to reflect on a current problem or struggle you're facing, maybe a goal that's causing you frustration or an action you find hard to implement. Grab a piece of paper and free-write a one-page brain dump about it. Focus on your internal dialogue, letting your thoughts flow naturally. Don’t try to solve anything or write what you think you should; just capture your genuine thoughts and feelings about the situation.
2) Challenge: The second step is to challenge these thoughts. Are these thoughts rooted in fact or fear or judgement? By questioning the validity of these thoughts, you can start to silence the critic in you.
Using a highlighter or pen, mark anything that is objectively true. (In other words, supported by clear data or evidence. (“I woke up at 11am” is objectively true. “I woke up super late” is a perception.)
Pick one sentence you highlighted that represents a perception that is particularly unhelpful or negative. Use the questions below to challenge the thought:
Is this thought based on facts or assumptions?
What evidence do I have that supports this thought?
What evidence do I have that contradicts this thought?
3) Reframe: It’s not enough to just silence the critic; you must also replace its negativity with a more empowering narrative. This involves actively cultivating self-compassion and affirming your worth. Remind yourself that you are a work in progress.
Using the same sentence you chose above, try asking yourself the following reframing questions below to reframe the situation.
Is there another way to look at this situation?
What would I say to a friend in this situation?
How would someone I admire handle this thought or situation?
What is the lesson or opportunity in this situation?
How can I use this experience to grow and become stronger?
What can I do right now to move forward in a positive direction?
